'America's Next Top Model' Recap: Naked, Wet and Smelly

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'America's Next Top Model' Recap: Naked, Wet and Smelly

After last week's America's Next Top Model premiere, a 90-minute mash of casting calls, makeovers and a tiny sliver of drama on the side (I believe the scientific term is a "fustercluck"), who even knew what we were going to get in this 90-minute episode? I didn't. You didn't. The models and the judges didn't, clearly, because the editing made them look CRAZY busy. Which was actually reassuring, because I didn't feel alone in my confusion that the format of this show used to be challenge-photo shoot-elimination, but now it's photo shoot-elimination-challenge-photo shoot-elimination? But only for this week? Naduwhaaaa? Tonight, everybody was like skinny chickens with their heads chopped off, which is a shame because those was a BRAND NEW weave on that head, and now it's all dirty and dead.What I'm trying to say is that there were two photo shoots, a runway challenge, one big fight, two eliminations, and about six billion adjectives spoken by Andre Leon Talley in an hour and a half. Tyra, you crazy for this one!This episode was all about timing. Okay, maybe a fourth of it was about timing. It was also about looking good naked. And then it was about looking good wet while spraying purple Power Ranger goo all over your neck. And also about learning how to take off a coat! And then about "dreckitude," whatever that means. (Apparently it means "being a wreck." Okay? That is total ponsense, you guys. I mean, switching one letter in a word and but making it mean the same thing is just frazy, you know? But it's Andre Leon Talley, who gets to wear circus tents as clothes and have rooms in his house that no one else in the world has--"c'est un salON!"--so it's okay. It's really, really okay. It's more than okay. It's ukay.)So, here's what happened in America's Next Top Model cycle 14, episode 2, "Dreckitude!" It would be a St. Patrick's Day miracle and also a CURSE if I covered it all, so I'll only cover the good bits. And you'll click your little leprechaun heels together and be happy about it.  

http://www.buddytv.com/articles/americas-next-top-model/americas_next_top_model_recap-35315.aspx